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Sunday, 13 March 2011

I Love You.

The official name of my business is Planet Love Creations.
Because it is my belief that Love is the most powerful force in the Universe and the highest and purest energy there is.  It is also my belief that my life is a gift and that I am here to align myself with the energy of Love and live and work from that place – somehow creating something noble, something beautiful out of my time here.

It’s been said that there are really only 2 basic human emotions, and that all other emotions stem from one of these 2 things – either Love or Fear. When you really think about that – it makes sense.  And when you consider that underneath anger, depression, resentment, guilt, shame, envy, anxiety, rage, loneliness and sadness there is Fear; it makes practicing compassion for others so much easier.  Think of the last really intense argument you had with someone, especially one where you were the recipient of someone else’s anger,judgement or frustration. Remember how it made you feel.  It’s upsetting right?  Hell, yes! Now – think of that same incident again but try to imagine that other person like an innocent child – scared, uncertain, desperately wanting to be loved and accepted.

Kinda changes things doesn’t it?

It is my opinion that no one is innately just angry. Or just depressed. Or just jealous. We are not born into this world as such. I think all of those things are more like the tip of the iceberg.  Underneath the surface there’s a whole ocean of a deep and underlying Fear.  We become these things as a result of allowing our Fear to get the better of us.  What’s fascinating about Fear is that we all have it.  It is simply another thing that we all have in common and we all share.  It is one more thing that connects us to each other. So why, then, are we sometimes so quick to judge others? What is it that stops us from recognizing our unity with one another and taking a more objective stance when we see someone else’s Fear bursting out from inside of them?

I think our society sometimes has us on this quest for “positivity” and “inner peace” that we are taught to despise anything that remotely resembles our humanness. We are taught that any time we feel uncomfortable in the slightest, whether physically or emotionally, we somehow need to do what we can as soon as possible to get out of that place.  Like it’s somehow incorrect or improper to be anything other than what we are in that moment. At times I feel as if it’s almost unacceptable to be upset, or to express sadness, or even anxiety.  And because people often seem soooo uncomfortable with some of the more shadowy aspects of the human psyche, if one does happen to have a “bad day” there is often a feeling, for many, of shame and isolation. A sense that we somehow have to lock ourselves away until we’ figure it out’ because heaven forbid we show any kind of vulnerability!

 Fear is very humbling. I think that’s actually the point. It reminds us of our fragility, our mortality. It’s meant to keep our ego in check and help us maintain balance.  I think, handled correctly, it can be a great motivating source of power and strength.  But it’s learning first to accept it, and then act from that point of acceptance and humility. Pema Chodron a wonderful Buddhist teacher who has written some incredible books (When Things Fall Apart, Comfortable With Uncertainty, The Fearless Heart and many others) says – “This moment is the perfect teacher.” Much like the practice of Yoga – a lot of her teachings encourage us to ‘lean into’ the difficult or uncomfortable places.  To dive right into the middle of our own pain and fear, stare it square in the face, and then remain as present and as alert and receptive as possible as we watch it transform and change before our very eyes.  Our own awareness acts like a flashlight illuminating the darkness.

Unfortunately not all people think like Pema or have any inclination to practice such things.  It seems easier for some people to simply remain unconscious and continue to go through life burying their pain until it begins to consume them. Or, worse, they push their rage out into the world and into the lives of unsuspecting bystanders.  It’s horrible but we all have, or will have, encounters with such people.  Heck, we may even become such people!! This is life.  Discernment is obviously in order as there are times when remaining in a dangerous situation trying to see the ‘inner child’ and ‘inner pain’ of someone while they rant and rave and hurl obscenities at you just becomes ridiculous and totally unnecessary. Some people just want to remain angry and that is ultimately their prerogative.

I have one such person in my life.  For the sake of privacy I will refer to him here as Mr DarkCloud, because that’s exactly what his presence feels like – a cold, dark, heavy storm cloud filled with all things unpleasant. Sadly, despite my best and noblest attempts Mr DC has been, and continues to be on occasion, a source of much hurt and great pain in my life.  Although I have taken all the necessary measures to remove myself from any and all contact, Mr DC’s influence is still felt when my mind recalls some of the hurtful and distressing situations that have occurred.  And because negativity is contagious, I have to work pretty hard sometimes not to get drawn in to the magnetic power of the Dark Cloud.  One thing I find incredibly helpful is my I Love You meditation practice.  It’s sooo simple, and yet so unbelievabley freeing and healing I can’t even begin to explain it’s power.

It was first introduced to me by a close friend who encouraged me to research something called Ho Oponopono.  It’s Hawaiian and part of the ancient culture of the Hawaiian people. It’s a meditation practice for reconciliation, cleansing and forgiveness. In most Polynesian cultures it is believed that if you hang on to anger for more than 3 days, sickness will consume you. Like a poison – unresolved negative emotions can rob the body of health and vitality. A well known Hawaiian therapist Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len has documented proof of healing an entire ward of mentally ill criminals without even seeing them, using this technique.

Stay with me here...
The premise behind this technique is that you use 4 simple phrases, done silently in the privacy of your own mind, to align yourself with the energy of Love and forgiveness which can be so powerful as to illicit deep healing and wonderful changes.  The meditation is this:

Please forgive me. I forgive you. I love you. Thank you.

That’s it.
Repeated over and over.
If the object of your meditation, like Mr DC, is difficult to love – you simply imagine them in your mind and direct your meditation to the Divine or out to the Universe.

I know this sounds so incredibly flakey.  Believe me, I know.

But thoughts are powerful. And sometimes they’re all we have.  Sometimes it’s simply not possible or appropriate to talk to, or even be near, those people with whom we have negativity to clear.  I’ve also heard of this technique being shortened to one simple phrase, the most powerful one of all -  I love you.

Repeated over and over.
 I love you.
 Like a mantra.
 I love you.
 Directed out to the Universe, or to God, or to whomever/whatever you view as that power greater than you. 
I love you. 
To the people who have hurt you.
I love you.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks Heather! Is this a bit like Meta Meditation(Loving Kindness)?